Editing & Writing Samples

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Editing Samples

Summoner

Fantasy Short Story—Developmental Edit

Lamil traumatically loses his best friend Baleth to a necromancer terrorizing the countryside. But when Baleth's wife, Sellah, Lamil's other best friend, decides to go retrieve the body, Lamil won't let his fears keep him from helping and protecting Sellah as much as he can—but he may need to overcome some prejudices along the way.

The author originally requested substantive edits for this short story, but I'm glad he agreed to a developmental edit first, because his story grew stronger for it. I addressed various plot holes, underdeveloped aspects of the characters, and buried themes. I also gave suggestions for fleshing out the worldbuilding and preventing reader confusion at key points in the story.

The Quest of Sir Warren

Fantasy Short Story—Copyedit

The everyday life of a Professional Hero may be full of beasts and monsters to slay, but this knight in shining armor doesn't always carry away the fair princess after rescuing her.

 

For this edit, the author asked particularly for my feedback on grammar and the flow of the short story. This sample especially features edits on punctuation such as dialogue mechanics. I also included various light substantive edits to improve word choice and left one or two developmental suggestions in the comments to improve the pacing of the dialogue and deliver a more satisfying ending to the readers.

Summoner

Fantasy Short Story—Substantive Edit and Copyedit

Lamil traumatically loses his best friend Baleth to a necromancer terrorizing the countryside. But when Baleth's wife, Sellah, Lamil's other best friend, decides to go retrieve the body, Lamil won't let his fears keep him from helping and protecting Sellah as much as he can—but he may need to overcome some prejudices along the way.

My substantive edit included a light copyedit, so you'll see this sample address some grammar and usage issues, especially dialogue punctuation mechanics. Overall, the substantive editing in this sample really exemplifies how sentences and paragraphs might be restructured to improve flow, pacing, and emotional impact.

Pachakuteq

Historical Fiction Novel—Substantive Edit

This first chapter of a historical fiction novel takes place in Peru shortly after a brutal civil war between Incan brothers Huascar and Atahualpa. Huascar's daughter finds herself in mortal danger—that is, until the Spanish show up and everything changes.

 

The author especially wanted feedback on pacing and character development as well as correction on mechanical errors. I made sure to point out anything that might confuse readers who would be unfamiliar with the setting as well.

The Sins of Their Fathers

Romance Novel—Manuscript Evaluation

One change in Mr. Collins' past can make him a very different character than Jane Austen penned. Perhaps he could even become a trusted brother to the Bennet sisters!

The author already had a largely positive response from her beta readers for her first draft of The Sins of Their Fathers, so she felt confident that she didn't need an in-depth developmental edit. As I evaluated her Pride and Prejudice retelling, I focused on developing the structure of the plot; character arcs of the main protagonists; pacing, point of views, and description; tone, tropes, and themes; and consistency and historical accuracy.

Flying Ocean

Fantasy Short Story—Developmental Edit, Substantive Edit, and Copyedit

This fantasy short story was published in Leading Edge Issue 74 (April 2019), BYU's premier science fiction and fantasy magazine.

 

The author especially wanted feedback on cutting unnecessary passages while still communicating the depth of a believable world. Additionally, I made copyedits consistent with The Chicago Manual of Style and Leading Edge Magazine's in-house style guide. This sample shows some of the developmental and substantive edits we made but primarily focuses on copyedits that adjust the text and punctuation into the proper format. Go to www.leadingedgemagazine.com to read the finished product and see how I also contributed to the layout and proofreading!

Writing Samples

A Siren's Cry

Fantasy/Sci-fi Flash Fiction Winner

I submitted a 600-word short story to Leading Edge Magazine for a flash fiction contest. The contest required a crossover of one science fiction element and one fantasy element, so I wrote a short story about a genetically modified mermaid. My story won first place and was published in Leading Edge's 75th edition in December 2019.

Harry Potter and the Truth of Annoying Errors

Empirical Essay

Editors have a lot of responsibilities to balance in trying to please future readers. I conducted a study to determine what typical readers of science fiction and fantasy think about various grammatical errors and typos. Which errors are considered to be the most annoying? See what your readers might prioritize when they read your novels.

Arthur and the Changeling Chapter One

Fanfiction

Based on the fantasy BBC series Merlin, my story explores the alternate path Arthur's life could have taken had Uther made one different decision. Instead of forcing Elena and Arthur to marry, he negotiates a one-year betrothal to give them a chance to fall in love. But can Arthur really have any hope of falling in love with someone who is Gwen's opposite in every way?

Unleashing Our Potential Energy

Religious Article

Just as we all have the potential to make the most of each day, we also have the potential to become true disciples of Jesus Christ. But how do we do this? Find out in this article published on Latter-day Saint Insights.

Authorial Attribution: The Brandon Sanderson Test

Forensic Linguistic Research Paper

The field of forensic linguistics involves many aspects of language as it relates to the law. In my research, I focus on the abilities and limitations of authorial attribution, also known as "wordprinting" authors, based on Brandon Sanderson's completion of Robert Jordan's epic fantasy series The Wheel of Time.

Developing Christlike Self-Discipline

Religious Article

Rather than focusing on our mistakes and losing hope, we can discipline ourselves with kindness in a Christlike way. This brief article points young adults interested in building their faith to forgive themselves as they seek forgiveness from the Lord.

Now that you've read some samples, contact me today to get a free

10-page sample edit and a quote for your project.